I’m exhausted. What little housework I have done has left me needing to chill. And contemplate. How did I manage for all those years? Now I want to quickly get back to my ‘me’ time. It’s so vital to my wellbeing these days. It makes me wonder why as a society we tell our children and the generations that follow and our peers that they should find someone, settle down, raise a family. We remain lost in the fairytale of what we think life should be.
Yet the high proportion of separations and divorce, of domestic violence, stress and suicide, bankruptcy and financial disasters paint the real picture. It is anything but a fairytale. Yet we continue to expect to live it. Do we honestly think it will change? Someone recently posted a picture on Facebook saying that a fathers role is to raise his daughter as a princess. Seriously? Princesses need Princes, knights in shining armour, castles, servants and to while away a life doing … What?
Archetypically we identify easily the Princess. She whines, expects others to pick up after her and waltzes through life without a useful thought in her head. Well obviously Im not a princess to have this reaction, nor am I a Queen to laud and direct my subjects. Goddess most certainly. Not the Marilyn Monroe type in terms of physicality but certainly in terms of my persona. I don’t much like this world nor the humans who abide in it. I would rather be elsewhere. My patience is limited but my tolerance in many things immense. I know that we are capable of so much more than we exhibit. And perhaps that is why I become disillusioned at times.
So why on earth should we continue to limit, to pass on outdated traditions and beliefs. Most certainly they had a place in previous generations and society, but today? I think its time we stopped and questioned … Much more than we do. We live longer, we work longer and harder in a different way. Keeping up with the Joneses is drummed into us daily. Adverts and media direct what we should think, say, do, feel, buy, behave and react to. If we dare to express a difference of opinion we are bullied and abused through social media, considered weird and unconventional by others.
It’s a rare occurrence when good, peaceful, enlivening and encouraging news occurs. When we tell others to be themselves, to follow their heart and dreams. Sadly the need for monetary income beats on our door heavily. If we want to build that house, get that education, land that job we have to do the hard work, and gain the money. So often I wish for a life off the grid. But, following my divorce, like many others I have had to rebuild from scratch in my middle years. When previous generations were at my age planning retirement I and many others are hoping we stay well and sane enough to continue working another 20 years. For theres no knight in shining armour, no rich man to keep me as I would like. Its just me.
The fairy tale doesn’t exist for the majority but for the very rare and blessed. As much as I hate those who tell another to get real and accept what is, I think we are missing the point on that view too. But what is the alternative? To my children I have passed the following …
Live your life your own way. Don’t give in to societies conventions if it doesn’t feel right. Don’t marry that person unless you truly do love each other and want a total partnership in every way. Don’t raise children because it’s the done thing but think carefully what you want and what you can bring to enhance their lives. And not necessarily monetarily. If you choose not to marry or have children I’m really okay with that. I have no need to be a grandmother. Honestly in my 50s I’m way too young.
Take time to find out what you want in life. What drives you, inspires you. What your passions are. Where can you contribute and serve. Take time to be alone with yourself, to make peace with who you are. To cherish the quiet alone times. Learn to say no. Learn to say yes. To be discerning and appreciative of all that surrounds you. Know that its okay to change your path or to shake things up.
Decide for yourself what you want from your life. Don’t let anyone tell you or direct you to something you don’t desire. Learn to appreciate those who want only to walk beside you and share your life unconditionally. Follow your dreams and don’t compromise on who you are. Most of, be your own beautiful, unique self. Don’t waste time waiting to be handed life on a platter, it’s yours to make what you will of.
I stop to draw breath. My rant on this subject has come to an end. I did think it was headed in another direction, but thats okay. And my last piece of wisdom, its okay to rant, to get things of your chest. Its okay to think deeply, to feel, to experience every emotion under the sun. We are, after all, human beings in this lifetime.